"A dragon..." the fox stared into the distance. "How interesting. What a quaint little quest you have assigned yourselves." He grinned mischievously. "Whelp, good luck on your utterly hopeless quest. Tata." So saying, he snapped his claws, and he and his extraordinary lair vanished into thin air.
The three companions found themselves on the ground, lying on their stomachs. Brush was poking into their plush bodies, and James groaned, "I think I don't have an unbroken bone left in my body."
"You never had any unbroken bones in your body," Cicero said. "We're stuffed animals."
"Regardless," James waved away that slight matter of 'opinion'.
They sat up, some (ahem, James) groaning more than others.
"I think," James said slowly, "That we aught to go in that direction." he pointed in the direction of a small light. "Perhaps that is our dragon."
Sweetie shook her head. "That was scary. I want to go home now."
"You said you would come," James protested.
Cicero lifted nervously into the air before alighting on the ground again. "This is a dangerous quest, James."
James shrugged. "Could it be more dangerous than letting that dragon run loose?"
"No." Sweetie said. "I don't want to come."
Jame's shoulders fell. "Alright," he said slowly, "I guess I'll do it on my own." So saying, he walked off into the dark.
Cicero pumped his wings, torn between supporting his friend and the longing for the safety of his home. Finally, he made his mind up. "I'm coming," he hollered, and flew after James.
"I don't want to go," Sweetie reminded herself as she felt her heart drop as she watched her companions disappear. "I want to go back home. I'm going back home." She turned towards her home, took a step, then turned back towards her companions.
"What should I do?" Sweetie whispered. "I thought I wanted to go home, but now I sorta want to go!"
She stood there, unsure, watching her companions.
"Alright, I'm coming!" she hollered, and ran into the dark after them.
"Oh, not yet." the fox replied, his golden eyes glowing in the candle light.
Not yet? How reassuring the three travellers thought, though none of them said it aloud.
"But, we're on a quest!" James protested. "It can end in the lion's den."
"The lion's den?" the fox raised it's eyebrows. "This is far from a lion's den. It is a magician's lair, a fox's home, a place of comfort, practicality, and pranks." He seated himself at the table. "Come, eat."
Sweetie and Cicero looked warily at each other and James declared, "Well I'm famished!"
"Hi, Famished." Cicero whispered under his breath.
But the three travellers sat down at the table. No sooner than they did, the fox asked, "So, about this quest?"
"We're going to go kill the dragon." James volunteered.
"Yes, you were!" James and Sweetie said at the same time.
"A dragon..." the fox stared into the distance. "How interesting. What a quaint little quest you have assigned yourselves." He grinned mischievously. "Whelp, good luck on your utterly hopeless quest. Tata." So saying, he snapped his claws, and he and his extraordinary lair vanished into thin air.
"STOP!" the tenor voice of the fox boomed through the night. His paws were on the mouse, which was now on the ground.
Cicero pumped his wings in vain, but was drawn towards the earth at the same time as James and Sweetie involuntarily took a step towards the fox.
"I am the wizard of the forest," he proclaimed. As he spoke, his eyes glowed more fiercely and turned green, then blue, than purple, then red, than back to the original yellow.
Cicero swivelled his head around. "Who... are... you?" he asked slowly.
"THUNDER!" barked the fox. "Did I not just tell you?" he asked, calming down a bit.
The three travellers were silent.
"You will dine with ME tonight." the fox drawled.
So saying, he turned around and trotted quickly into the trees. The three heroes found themselves dragged along.
"Where are we going?" Sweetie asked. "I hope it's not a scary place... I hate scary places."
James shrugged as he was dragged into a tree. The fox turned around, smirked, and kept going, so quickly that James did not have time to pick himself up but was dragged around the forest on his stomach.
Finally they reached a cave. The fox, having arrived there a second before them, smirked at them again. "You are my guests. Be not afraid," he counselled.
"What if we're dinner?" Sweetie whispered. "I hope we're not... I hate being dinner."
From the outside, the cave looked tiny, barely large enough to hold the fox and his dinner companions. But from the inside, it was ginormous. And luxurious, James noted dryly. A large chandelier of glass hung from the ceiling. A table of polished oak sat in the middle of the room. Candle light flickered against the reddish walls, giving it a warm, homey feeling.
A few plump chicken and a dozen skinned mice sat on fancy platters on the oak table. "Welcome to dinner." the fox said grandly.
"You're not going to eat us?" Sweetie squeaked.
"Oh, not yet." the fox replied, his golden eyes glowing in the candle light.
The three companions whipped around. What was that noise? Cicero pumped his wings nervously, but stayed on the ground. Sweetie wrung her hands. James felt around his waist for a sheathed sword, but found none. "Dang it, I knew I shoulda worn by hero costume today!" he said hoarsely.
There was a thump and some sticks broke. The scurrying noise was gone now, but it was replaced by the soft calculated steps of a larger animal.
"I think..." said Cicero, "Something just became dinner."
"Quite." whispered James.
"Are we next?" Sweetie half-whispered, tears creeping down her white cheeks.
"SHUT UP!" yelled James anxiously. "YOU'LL GIVE AWAY OUR LOCATION!"
The softly menacing steps came closed, and a fox stepped out from under a tree, his yellow eyes glowing dangerously, a mouse in his jaw.
"Can we go home yet?" Sweetie asked.
James shook his head as the three travellers backed away.
"ABANDON POST!" screamed Cicero, lifting into the air.
"STOP!" the tenor voice of the fox boomed through the night. His paws were on the mouse, which was now on the ground.
Cicero pumped his wings in vain, but was drawn towards the earth at the same time as James and Sweetie involuntarily took a step towards the fox.
"I am the wizard of the forest," he proclaimed. As he spoke, his eyes glowed more fiercely and turned green, then blue, than purple, then red, than back to the original yellow.
"Plan: chase dragon. Kill dragon. Get famous." James replied. "Let's go!"
Sweetie looked at Cicero, who shrugged.
James ran off, and Sweetie and Cicero followed him. As he ran, he spoke: "The dragon went that way." He pointed in the general direction the dragon had left.
"James, we shouldn't be running around in the dark." Sweetie helpfully pointed out after he tripped on a root and fell.
James got up. "We do it now."
"We do it tomorrow." Sweetie said adamantly.
James growled, then said, "But then how will we find the dragon?"
"Well, how many caves are there?" Cicero asked. "Only... nine. We can check all of them. Oh, and five of them are right next to each other. And, well, dragons live in caves, so if we check all of them, we will find it sooner or later. Besides, if we're going to kill the dragon, we're going to need more than our paws or wings. We sleep, we buy swords, we check all the caves, we kill the dragon."
Reluctant to be persuaded by that voice of reason, James scowled, then nodded.
"Unfortunately, we don't have a tent." Sweetie said. "It melted in the flames, remember? 'Cause it's made of pollee-ster?"
"Polyester." Cicero corrected.
"No problemo," James said. "We can sleep under the trees."
The orange light and jet-black patch soared closer.
"ABANDON POST!" screeched Cicero the owl.
James the panda and the odd-colored bear scattered in different directions, while Cicero lifted off into the air.
The orange light, which they could now tell to be a flame, spread to their belongings.
"My marshmallows!" cried James in agony.
In the glowing light, they could clearly see what was in the sky: A dragon, blacker than black, shooting orange flame out of an open mouth. It's golden eyes glinted dangerously.
"Dragon..." the odd-colored bear trailed off. "I didn't think those things existed."
James had a sudden thought. "Hey, that's our quest!"
"What's our quest?" Cicero the owl asked.
"Killing the dragon, who is ravishing the countryside!" James said.
"Do you mean 'ravaging' the countryside?" Cicero asked, pushing imaginary glasses further onto his beak.
"Sure, sure, whatever." James waved that minor word mishap away with a black paw. "We will go save the villagers from the terrible dragon."
"We?" squeaked the odd-colored bear. "I don't know about that... I don't really like conflict."
"Pishaw." James said. "It'll be fun, a piece of cake! Besides, it always works out in the stories."
By now, Cicero was back on the ground. He touched the tips of his wings together in front of him in what he thought to be a very proffesorish way and said with great pomp, "They only write stories about winners. I mean, who wants to read about a loser?"
"What about Old Yeller?" James demanded. "That book is about a loser, if your definition of loser means they end up dead."
Somewhat flustered, Cicero wasn't sure how to respond, so he acted like he didn't hear what James had said.
The odd-colored bear yawned. "I wanna go home... I mean, our tent melted in the fire, and so did our marshmallows."
James raised an eyebrow. "Go home? Are you daft? The dragon probably burned that up too."
Cicero flapped his wings emphatically. "Nonsense, I can see it from here. Don't you go trying to scare us into some adventuring nonsense." He turned to the odd-colored bear, who was beginning to cry. "Sweety, don't cry. That James is just trying to scare you. It's fine." Then he turned back to James. "James Madison the Second, you aught to be ashamed of yourself... being named after a president of integrity and all... and now going and tricking people and lying shamelessly just to get your way..."
Sweetie (the oddly colored bear) looked up. "Our house is fine?"
Cicero nodded.
James shrugged. "But please? Adventures... treasure... awesomeness awaits!"
Cicero and Sweetie looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay..." said Sweetie, "If it doesn't take too long."
There were three adventurers. As we speak, they are currently in the middle of eating dinner.
The three of them -panda, owl, and bear- are unlikely friends. They are also unlikely heroes. I mean, they are stuffed animals. Regardless. They are friends. They are heroes. And they are the centre of this story.
Panda holds his roasting stick over the fire. On it, a marshmallow, slowly swelling and turning golden. "Tomorrow, I will seek adventure." He says this matter-of-a-factly.
"But James," the owl protests, "That's dangerous! I mean, those who go adventuring... well, sometimes they die! History doesn't lie!"
"Would you please kindly consider not mentioning history?" the bear asks. She is a queer bear, with white fur, red sparkly ears and paws. "I don't know about you guys, but it's getting... a little redundant."
"Yeah, what does history have to do with adventuring anyways?" asked the panda, James.
The owl's chest puffed up. "History has everything to do with everything!" So saying, he pumped his wings excitedly and lifted off a few feet into the air, dropping his wooden roasting stick into the fire. The mouse on the end, newly dead, started to stink as the fur caught fire.
The odd looking bear passed the owl the marshmallows as he alighted. "Be kind," she says, turning to James the panda bear.
A glow in the sky caused them to look up. It was a fierce orange, fizzing across the sky, and followed by a patch of blackness blacker than black.
"What is that," the owl asked nervously.
"Stop being such a scardy-cat, Cicero." James said.
"I'm not a cat," the owl explained with great dignity, "I'm a magnificent bird and history nerd."